#GoodVibesOnly: 3 Must-Haves for Your Best Holiday Yet đ
The holidays can be a beautiful time of year, filled with family, laughter, and good food. But letâs be honestâit can also come with its fair share of stress. For many, family gatherings might stir up unspoken expectations, old disagreements, or just the usual drama.
So, how do you prepare yourself emotionally and mentally to enjoy the season without feeling drained? By focusing on three key tools: boundaries, forgiveness, and gratitude.
Boundaries & Holiday Mental Health
Boundaries arenât walls to shut people outâtheyâre fences to protect what matters most to you. Think of them as a way to say, âI value our relationship, and I want to show up in a way that feels good for both of us.â
Letâs say your family asks about your dating life (or lack of one) as soon as you sit down with your plate of mac & cheese. Itâs not unusual for them to ask, âWhen are you going to settle down?â or âWhy donât you have kids yet?â Setting a boundary might sound like:
âIâm not comfortable talking about that, but Iâd love to hear what youâve been up to!â
Or: âIâd rather keep the focus on the holidayâweâre here to enjoy each otherâs company.â
Boundaries are about respecting yourself and the people you care about. They help you take control of the narrative without creating unnecessary tension. If you struggle with setting or sticking to boundaries, thatâs okay. Itâs a skill that can grow with practiceâand sometimes, a little help from a mental health professional.
đĄ Reflection: Whatâs one boundary youâd like to set for the holidays this year?
Forgiveness Brings Peace
Forgiveness can feel like a big ask, especially if someoneâs actions have hurt you deeply. But hear me outâforgiveness isnât about excusing bad behavior or pretending the hurt never happened. Itâs about freeing yourself from the weight of carrying it.
The aunt who made those slick comments about your job last year? The sibling who never apologizes for their sideways tone? Forgiving doesnât mean forgetting, but it does mean saying, âIâm not going to let this live rent-free in my head anymore.â
Hereâs the thing: true forgiveness keeps no record of wrongs. That doesnât mean youâre naive or setting yourself up for repeat offenses. It means youâre choosing not to replay the pain every time you see that person. Forgiveness is less about them and more about you.
Imagine walking into the holiday gathering without that heavy baggage. Feels lighter, right? And if forgiveness feels too hard to tackle alone, a therapist can help guide you through the process.
đĄ Reflection: Is there someone you could forgive to make this holiday season feel lighter?
Gratitude: Accepting What Is
Gratitude and the holidays go together like greens and cornbread. Itâs the perfect time to focus on whatâs good in your life, even when things arenât perfect. Gratitude doesnât mean ignoring whatâs hard or pretending everything is fine. Itâs about finding something to appreciate even in the chaos.
For example, maybe your mom has a habit of giving backhanded compliments, but she also makes the best sweet potato pie. Gratitude says, âIâm thankful for this pie and the effort she put into making it.â Gratitude lets you focus on whatâs there instead of whatâs missing.
Gratitude doesnât just make you feel better in the moment; it changes your perspective over time. Hereâs a simple gratitude practice to try:
Each morning, write down three things youâre grateful forâbig or small.
Reflect on them before heading into family gatherings or holiday events.
Gratitude helps you accept life for what it is, not what you wish it could be. Over time, it shifts your focus from what you lack to what you already have.
đĄ Reflection: Whatâs one thing about the holidays youâre grateful for?
Putting It All Together
Imagine this â You walk into your familyâs house, and itâs loud. Cousins are arguing over Spades, someoneâs asking why youâre not married yet, and Uncle Drunk has made one too many dirty jokes.
With boundaries, you say, âIâm gonna sit this one outâ instead of getting pulled into an argument.
With forgiveness, you let go of that grudge from last monthâs fight over politics.
With gratitude, you smile at the fact that everyone came togetherâand that your plate is full of your favorite foods.
You canât control the whole vibe, but you can control how you show up.
Need Support? Letâs Talk.
If the holidays feel more stressful than joyful, or if you find it hard to set boundaries, forgive, or embrace gratitude, youâre not alone. These are common struggles, and sometimes a little guidance can make all the difference.
Iâm offering a free mindfulness coaching session to help you identify whatâs causing the struggle and to create a plan to move forward. Reach out at info@sagepllc.com or visit www.sagecounselingclt.com to schedule your session.
This holiday season, give yourself the gift of peace, joy, and real connection.